Inspired ideas.Tragic endings.A selection of what I have done and would never do(I hope).
1.Eating the hottest curry in UK.
I knew it.My whole table knew it.The entire staff of that damned restaurant knew it.The hottest curry in UK-a bowl of indescribable horror.So why did I do it?Alcohol certainly played a part.Some misguided attempt at looking 'hard'?Red faced,tears rolling down my cheeks,coughing continuously,my meal ruined,unable to taste anything for the next 48 hrs and walking like I had something up my nether regions post morning ablutions...yep...I was the very image of a young Schwarzenegger
2.Sending emails without checking the addressee.
"Morning Sri(best friend),it's Ash here.Don't worry about Reza(best friend).I'm in complete agreement.He's a twat.Let him screw himself over.Ha Ha ;)" SEND.Shit.Did I send that to Sri or Reza?Fuck,Fuck,Fuck."Ani(Sister),can you get me out of this hole?I've made a boo-boo...
3.The Atkins Diet
All meat diet.Sounds great and easy to stick to .Especially an avowed meat eater like yours truly.Fast forward 2 weeks.Lost weight-great.Kidneys passing weird urine-hmmm.Girlfriend buys you extra strong deodorant-hmmmmmmm.Seeing bread makes you go batty-hmmmmmmmmmmm.Result-I steal my way to the bread section of the supermarket and gulp down bread with orgasmic groans to the disgust of other shoppers.And..yup,I'm fat again.
4.Running a marathon.
"God,it's a long way to go,is that..er..what the hell is this bloke with a scythe doing next to me?Why is he smiling and what is he doing here?Why did I agree to this?F-----g old age hospice--haven't they got enough money?Damn you all to hell...aarrgh.
5.Unsafe sex.
Goal achieved.Post coital thoughts.Please dear God -not another urethral swab from that GP with the mumsy attitude.Think.Think.Maybe a quick wash would be sensible.In boiling water!!Does the gal secretly want babies-your babies?First thing tommo-better force feed her that morning-after pill.
6.Asking advice from a sales worker in a computer store.
They would be wearing the same colour shirts from telly,but the fountain of IT based knowledge is sadly lacking.Vacant stares,awkward shrugs and the idiot card gibberish before I walk off more confused than ever.I think I'll get that wireless paper and pen combo,then.
7.Lending a friend a lot of money.
Because I'll want it back.And this small fact will shadow every slightly expensive round they buy in the pub until many months later,I drunkenly snap and say " Well,if you can afford to buy a white Russian for both those Polish girls you barely know,can I have my money back please?"And therefore ruining a good friendship and chance of going home with said Polish girls forever.Being tight-That's my new generosity.
8.Shaving my head.
My girlfriend cried and refused to talk to me for hours.Said I looked scary.Cue innumerable Shrek jokes from my friends.
9.Anything involving plumbing.
It usually ends with me smashing all the parts with a hammer.Like I do with every other DIY job.Sorted.
10.Sending that drunken text message.
“U wanna stay at mine tonight?” .Nothing weird about it until you realise that person's name is next to your Dad's in your phonebook the following morning.Even more embarrassing is the reply from Dad:" Amrit,sorry I couldn't make it.Your mother sends her regards."
That's a random selection in no particular order.Now over to you guys.What would you all never want to do again?
Inspired ideas.Tragic endings.A selection of what I have done and would never do(I hope).
1.Eating the hottest curry in UK.
I knew it.My whole table knew it.The entire staff of that damned restaurant knew it.The hottest curry in UK-a bowl of indescribable horror.So why did I do it?Alcohol certainly played a part.Some misguided attempt at looking 'hard'?Red faced,tears rolling down my cheeks,coughing continuously,my meal ruined,unable to taste anything for the next 48 hrs and walking like I had something up my nether regions post morning ablutions...yep...I was the very image of a young Schwarzenegger
2.Sending emails without checking the addressee.
"Morning Sri(best friend),it's Ash here.Don't worry about Reza(best friend).I'm in complete agreement.He's a twat.Let him screw himself over.Ha Ha ;)" SEND.Shit.Did I send that to Sri or Reza?Fuck,Fuck,Fuck."Ani(Sister),can you get me out of this hole?I've made a boo-boo...
3.The Atkins Diet
All meat diet.Sounds great and easy to stick to .Especially an avowed meat eater like yours truly.Fast forward 2 weeks.Lost weight-great.Kidneys passing weird urine-hmmm.Girlfriend buys you extra strong deodorant-hmmmmmmm.Seeing bread makes you go batty-hmmmmmmmmmmm.Result-I steal my way to the bread section of the supermarket and gulp down bread with orgasmic groans to the disgust of other shoppers.And..yup,I'm fat again.
4.Running a marathon.
"God,it's a long way to go,is that..er..what the hell is this bloke with a scythe doing next to me?Why is he smiling and what is he doing here?Why did I agree to this?F-----g old age hospice--haven't they got enough money?Damn you all to hell...aarrgh.
5.Unsafe sex.
Goal achieved.Post coital thoughts.Please dear God -not another urethral swab from that GP with the mumsy attitude.Think.Think.Maybe a quick wash would be sensible.In boiling water!!Does the gal secretly want babies-your babies?First thing tommo-better force feed her that morning-after pill.
6.Asking advice from a sales worker in a computer store.
They would be wearing the same colour shirts from telly,but the fountain of IT based knowledge is sadly lacking.Vacant stares,awkward shrugs and the idiot card gibberish before I walk off more confused than ever.I think I'll get that wireless paper and pen combo,then.
7.Lending a friend a lot of money.
Because I'll want it back.And this small fact will shadow every slightly expensive round they buy in the pub until many months later,I drunkenly snap and say " Well,if you can afford to buy a white Russian for both those Polish girls you barely know,can I have my money back please?"And therefore ruining a good friendship and chance of going home with said Polish girls forever.Being tight-That's my new generosity.
8.Shaving my head.
My girlfriend cried and refused to talk to me for hours.Said I looked scary.Cue innumerable Shrek jokes from my friends.
9.Anything involving plumbing.
It usually ends with me smashing all the parts with a hammer.Like I do with every other DIY job.Sorted.
10.Sending that drunken text message.
“U wanna stay at mine tonight?” .Nothing weird about it until you realise that person's name is next to your Dad's in your phonebook the following morning.Even more embarrassing is the reply from Dad:" Amrit,sorry I couldn't make it.Your mother sends her regards."
That's a random selection in no particular order.Now over to you guys.What would you all never want to do again?
Comments
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Cheerz
Do you agree? Lets keep it this way...If we meet again I would say it out....
Till than ciao ciao
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Take care... dunn spin your head now...like who am I...keep guessing...until we meet :)
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