Eating The Hottest Curry in UK!!
I'm in eighth grade.My science teacher tells me he loves spicy food. I stared blankly at him as he described how much the food made him sweat, he said it made him sweat into his eyes and made him cry but he just loved spicy food. I was so grossed out by the thought of him sweating into his food that the thought of spicy food receded into the background…and I did not try spicy food until my adult years.But the vision of spicy food that could reduce a man to tears stayed imprinted deep in my mind.
When i finally did eat spicy food again, I started off eating Andhra Chilly chicken which was a reasonable re-induction into the spicy world. And i loved it. Hot. Spicy. Yes.And made me feel i had mastered those damn chillies!!!
Which leads to my attempt at eating Phall Chilly Phall curry(the official hottest curry in UK)–it led to many tears.It probably had to do with all the alcohol which had instilled a false sense of bravado in Steve Clements(My registrar) and me. We came.We saw.And we ordered and then pondered whether this was a good idea.
Dish arrived.Fiery.Red.I looked for the 'Made In Hell' stamp.Time to walk the walk or eat the meat and face the heat and etc etc..My stomach cramped in protest.My tongue went dry...and i put a spoonful into my mouth.And then all hell broke loose...
The taste of this dish is realised only in the first few seconds after the first spoonful.Then I realise the inside of my mouth has gone numb and the taste buds have been scorched.I gulp it down to shorten the torture.Drink water.Eat rice.And then another spoonful. I had become my 8th grade computer science teacher.All i could sense was the chilly and i was sweating,nose running and crying while i ate it! (I hope i don’t gross you out like my teacher grossed me out) .I eat, swear,drink and then eat again.Dish over.Torture over NOT.Now the inside of my mouth burns.I drink.Relief for 2 seconds and then the burning sensation returns.Drink again.Eat sweet chicken korma.Drink curd.Eat rice.Eat Naan.Drink again.It settles down after a while.Sweet relief.I know i don't want to shit tomorrow.
Reach home.Chest burns.Tummy hurts.Go to sleep-hope that helps.Get up in the middle of the night.Drink Water.My guts feel like the inside of a washing machine.Answer the call of nature.Ass on fire.Walk to work like someone who has something up his nether regions.Take buscopan,codydramol,gaviscon and omeprazole.My guts still in a irritable mood.Take lomotil.
There is a God.Pain settles by afternoon.I have a feeling of achievement finally having survived to tell the tale.Find out how Steve is doing.He is too scared to got the bathroom.All of which misery I saw, part of which I was.Now I feel happy.But I am never going to do this again in my life.
When i finally did eat spicy food again, I started off eating Andhra Chilly chicken which was a reasonable re-induction into the spicy world. And i loved it. Hot. Spicy. Yes.And made me feel i had mastered those damn chillies!!!
Which leads to my attempt at eating Phall Chilly Phall curry(the official hottest curry in UK)–it led to many tears.It probably had to do with all the alcohol which had instilled a false sense of bravado in Steve Clements(My registrar) and me. We came.We saw.And we ordered and then pondered whether this was a good idea.
Dish arrived.Fiery.Red.I looked for the 'Made In Hell' stamp.Time to walk the walk or eat the meat and face the heat and etc etc..My stomach cramped in protest.My tongue went dry...and i put a spoonful into my mouth.And then all hell broke loose...
The taste of this dish is realised only in the first few seconds after the first spoonful.Then I realise the inside of my mouth has gone numb and the taste buds have been scorched.I gulp it down to shorten the torture.Drink water.Eat rice.And then another spoonful. I had become my 8th grade computer science teacher.All i could sense was the chilly and i was sweating,nose running and crying while i ate it! (I hope i don’t gross you out like my teacher grossed me out) .I eat, swear,drink and then eat again.Dish over.Torture over NOT.Now the inside of my mouth burns.I drink.Relief for 2 seconds and then the burning sensation returns.Drink again.Eat sweet chicken korma.Drink curd.Eat rice.Eat Naan.Drink again.It settles down after a while.Sweet relief.I know i don't want to shit tomorrow.
Reach home.Chest burns.Tummy hurts.Go to sleep-hope that helps.Get up in the middle of the night.Drink Water.My guts feel like the inside of a washing machine.Answer the call of nature.Ass on fire.Walk to work like someone who has something up his nether regions.Take buscopan,codydramol,gaviscon and omeprazole.My guts still in a irritable mood.Take lomotil.
There is a God.Pain settles by afternoon.I have a feeling of achievement finally having survived to tell the tale.Find out how Steve is doing.He is too scared to got the bathroom.All of which misery I saw, part of which I was.Now I feel happy.But I am never going to do this again in my life.
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