Without a Beard-Beard Trilogy Part 3

Note:You may want to read the first 2 installments of this hairy saga first published online in June 2007.

Shaving of the beard is one of the evils which civic life has subjected man to.Society regards the wearing of a long beard as very strong evidence of a man's insanity, or at least of very great eccentricity. Every intelligent mind that reflects on the subject must soon be convinced, that the true and full dignity of the male form in the human species requires the presence of the full-grown beard, and no physiologist can doubt that the habitual shaving of the beard serves in some measure to diminish the physiological powers of man, and to abbreviate the period of his existence. Yet since custom compelled me either to shave or to suffer banishment from society, I succumbed to the threats.

Gillette and David Beckham had won out.I trembled.Butterflies in my stomach.I felt i would be naked and defenceless without my beard.I prayed to the lord to have mercy on me.

This is what happened...

I found myself again.No,I don't mean enlightenment(if that was the case,all the sanyasis would never keep a beard).Just that my passport photo looked like me.No more 'Step this way,Sir' embarrassing episodes at the airport.

Eating food is definitely not a cumbersome effort anymore.No more food crumbs in my beard which I realise are there only when I have these pigeons dive bombing me.And that also means I don't have to carry an air -gun which in turn makes me look like a criminal.And none of those repeated Taliban jokes behind my back.

My friends no longer avoid me now that I don't look like a gypsy.Fair lather friends,I call them.You can call it peer pressure.

No more drunk bearded strangers back slapping me and uttering "We are Sparta...".Damn the movie 300.

No more Chinese torture for me.Try talking to a hot chick and trying to resist itching your beard at the same time.

My family are off my back now.Dad stopped calling me a Taliban soldier.Mom stopped calling every 5 minutes-she was worried I would be victim of a hate crime with me being Asian and in UK.Brother stopped calling me a beggar.Sister stopped calling me a hilly billy.And Beer,my dog stopped growling at me.

So,it wasn't that bad in the end.I have lived on both sides of the face and they have their pros and cons like every other choice you make in life.

I can sleep peacefully at night knowing my beard is a few weeks away if I ever need to call upon it.Amen.