Socially Awkward Misfit - 8 conversations from a while ago ...
Conversation 1 :
Girl: let's play Q and A
Me: Hmmm...journalist's fave game
Girl: be honest, ok?
Me: kinda,Err..You are the boss
Girl: so whom do u want to date?
Me: Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox at the same time
Girl: bwahahahahaha
Me: c'mon...
Girl: what?
Me: why didja laugh?
Girl: nothing...
Me: next question please
Girl: your turn to ask me ,we take turns
Me: jeez..
*gulp
so whom do u want to date?
Girl: why do u have to ask me my question? that's against the rules
Me: Not fair,You make the game, you make the rules and ..oh..you get all the good questions,
hmm...Could you get me a drink ?
Girl: What ?!!!
Me : I see no future in this already....
Girl: What ?!!!
Me: Nothing...
Conversation 2:
Friend (On the phone): Okay!! Do what you like..alright and then..Don't..
[Person on the other end hangs up]
Friend : Im telling you girl friends suck dude !!
Me: Is that the problem?
Friend: What?!!!
Me: Nothing....
Conversation 3:
Girl: ummm so and again...you r animated and fictional?
Friend: yeah I am fictitious babe...I am infectious
*Me cringing on hearing this....
Girl: like viral fever? or oh wait..Ebola ?
Friend: Nope .. like love virus
*friend winks at me....i nearly fall off the stool
Girl: oh...ok.. so you love viruses...that's weird...
Friend: you didn't understand.? I am hittin on you.
*Dumb and Dumber...
Girl: oh so thats wat you were doin...?
Friend: (Slaps forehead) Hey...How yaaaaaaa doing?
*winks at me again...i choke on my drink
Girl: What ?!!!
Friend: Nothing...
*Disaster...
At this point ,I step in and do my dutiful job as the wingman..
Conversation 4:
Girl: yeah sure..i'll go out on a date with him...but ill have to put your friend through tests...
Me: ah...the Litmus test
Girl: nope...
Me: I mean as in you place my friend next to a guy who looks like Brad Pitt wearing a mankini and see if he goes green...
Girl: nope, but yeah thats a pretty good idea (Litmus test)
(*notes it down in her creative ideas to get guys in a rut)
Me: So what other tests do you have in mind ?
Girl: I am going to wear the sexiest dress ever and see if your friend can be a good boy on his first date and not attempt to hit on me
Me: What if he does ?
Girl:Then I'll know he is only after my body
Me: Do you watch a lot of Bollywood movies ? the girl only sleeps with the guy after marriage...
Girl: What ?!!!
Me: Nothing...
Conversation 5
was a beautiful Morning; totally under the warm blanket, I was enjoyin my hangover sleep ....
My phone starts ringin, lighting up its scratched up display!
Caller: Good morning..I am callin from [beep] One2dial....
Me: Good Morning? [Looks at the clock..Darn!!10:15 AM ,too early! Damn!! Get a life!]
Caller: You have been shortlisted for our Privileged Customer Offer!!We have a very good offer for you; if you take our phone card..........
Me: I'm afraid I cant take one!
Caller: May I know why?
Me: I havent brushed my teeth yet...
Caller: What?!!!
Me: Nothing...
Conversation 6
Girl: What have you been up to ?
Me: This and that and learning some random stuff everyday...
Girl: Like...
Me: The SheWee is quite handy ..
http://www.shewee.com/
Girl: The What ?
Me: SheWee...its a funnel shaped device for girls to streamline their urine when they are out in the wilderness...It seems most gals drizzle when they pizzle
Girl: Ewww...how gross...
Me: Hahahaha...its true..the gal who told me about it probably has one though she denies it now !!!
Girl: Tell your friend she aint been practising well enough...Yoga helps....Dont need no SheWee for me !!!
Me: I shall give her feedback...
Girl: The SheWee..whatever will they come up with next ?
Me: Truth be told,i think its quite innovative....might be useful for me when i am peeing after a drunken night...
Girl: What ?!!!
Me: Nothing...
Conversation 7
Friend: I am going to pull that girl..
* Points at a stunningly tall brunette
Me: Good luck with that...
Friend: What chat up line should I use ?
Me: Say anything other than the 'Love Virus' shit line you just pulled on the other girl
*Yes..that one didnt go well...
Friend: So any suggestions...
Me: " What's a good girl like you doing in a bad place like this ?"
Friend: Wicked ! Dude,you're the man...
Me: I take it you are too drunk to appreciate my joke ..
Friend: What?!!
Me: Nothing.....
Conversation 8
Friend: That didn't work out well*
Me: Hmmm...(with a comforting smile)
*Guyspeak for I screwed up...
Friend: She was into me but she's a bit of a head case*
Me: Hmmm... (with a raised eyebrow)
*Guyspeak for She told me to piss off...
Friend: She asked me for my number but I told her that I didn't think it was a good idea
Me: Hmmm...( with me nodding in agreement)
*Guyspeak for She told him it wasn't a good idea...
Friend: Well..plenty of chicks out in the sea,heh..
Me: Hmmm..(with me grinning)
*Guyspeak for I shall succeed some day...
Friend: How come you are not on the game tonite ?
Me: Hmmm...(with a mocking smile)
*Guythink for I shall just watch others crash and burn...
Friend: What ?!!!
Me:Nothing...
Girl: let's play Q and A
Me: Hmmm...journalist's fave game
Girl: be honest, ok?
Me: kinda,Err..You are the boss
Girl: so whom do u want to date?
Me: Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox at the same time
Girl: bwahahahahaha
Me: c'mon...
Girl: what?
Me: why didja laugh?
Girl: nothing...
Me: next question please
Girl: your turn to ask me ,we take turns
Me: jeez..
*gulp
so whom do u want to date?
Girl: why do u have to ask me my question? that's against the rules
Me: Not fair,You make the game, you make the rules and ..oh..you get all the good questions,
hmm...Could you get me a drink ?
Girl: What ?!!!
Me : I see no future in this already....
Girl: What ?!!!
Me: Nothing...
Conversation 2:
Friend (On the phone): Okay!! Do what you like..alright and then..Don't..
[Person on the other end hangs up]
Friend : Im telling you girl friends suck dude !!
Me: Is that the problem?
Friend: What?!!!
Me: Nothing....
Conversation 3:
Girl: ummm so and again...you r animated and fictional?
Friend: yeah I am fictitious babe...I am infectious
*Me cringing on hearing this....
Girl: like viral fever? or oh wait..Ebola ?
Friend: Nope .. like love virus
*friend winks at me....i nearly fall off the stool
Girl: oh...ok.. so you love viruses...that's weird...
Friend: you didn't understand.? I am hittin on you.
*Dumb and Dumber...
Girl: oh so thats wat you were doin...?
Friend: (Slaps forehead) Hey...How yaaaaaaa doing?
*winks at me again...i choke on my drink
Girl: What ?!!!
Friend: Nothing...
*Disaster...
At this point ,I step in and do my dutiful job as the wingman..
Conversation 4:
Girl: yeah sure..i'll go out on a date with him...but ill have to put your friend through tests...
Me: ah...the Litmus test
Girl: nope...
Me: I mean as in you place my friend next to a guy who looks like Brad Pitt wearing a mankini and see if he goes green...
Girl: nope, but yeah thats a pretty good idea (Litmus test)
(*notes it down in her creative ideas to get guys in a rut)
Me: So what other tests do you have in mind ?
Girl: I am going to wear the sexiest dress ever and see if your friend can be a good boy on his first date and not attempt to hit on me
Me: What if he does ?
Girl:Then I'll know he is only after my body
Me: Do you watch a lot of Bollywood movies ? the girl only sleeps with the guy after marriage...
Girl: What ?!!!
Me: Nothing...
Conversation 5
was a beautiful Morning; totally under the warm blanket, I was enjoyin my hangover sleep ....
My phone starts ringin, lighting up its scratched up display!
Caller: Good morning..I am callin from [beep] One2dial....
Me: Good Morning? [Looks at the clock..Darn!!10:15 AM ,too early! Damn!! Get a life!]
Caller: You have been shortlisted for our Privileged Customer Offer!!We have a very good offer for you; if you take our phone card..........
Me: I'm afraid I cant take one!
Caller: May I know why?
Me: I havent brushed my teeth yet...
Caller: What?!!!
Me: Nothing...
Conversation 6
Girl: What have you been up to ?
Me: This and that and learning some random stuff everyday...
Girl: Like...
Me: The SheWee is quite handy ..
http://www.shewee.com/
Girl: The What ?
Me: SheWee...its a funnel shaped device for girls to streamline their urine when they are out in the wilderness...It seems most gals drizzle when they pizzle
Girl: Ewww...how gross...
Me: Hahahaha...its true..the gal who told me about it probably has one though she denies it now !!!
Girl: Tell your friend she aint been practising well enough...Yoga helps....Dont need no SheWee for me !!!
Me: I shall give her feedback...
Girl: The SheWee..whatever will they come up with next ?
Me: Truth be told,i think its quite innovative....might be useful for me when i am peeing after a drunken night...
Girl: What ?!!!
Me: Nothing...
Conversation 7
Friend: I am going to pull that girl..
* Points at a stunningly tall brunette
Me: Good luck with that...
Friend: What chat up line should I use ?
Me: Say anything other than the 'Love Virus' shit line you just pulled on the other girl
*Yes..that one didnt go well...
Friend: So any suggestions...
Me: " What's a good girl like you doing in a bad place like this ?"
Friend: Wicked ! Dude,you're the man...
Me: I take it you are too drunk to appreciate my joke ..
Friend: What?!!
Me: Nothing.....
Conversation 8
Friend: That didn't work out well*
Me: Hmmm...(with a comforting smile)
*Guyspeak for I screwed up...
Friend: She was into me but she's a bit of a head case*
Me: Hmmm... (with a raised eyebrow)
*Guyspeak for She told me to piss off...
Friend: She asked me for my number but I told her that I didn't think it was a good idea
Me: Hmmm...( with me nodding in agreement)
*Guyspeak for She told him it wasn't a good idea...
Friend: Well..plenty of chicks out in the sea,heh..
Me: Hmmm..(with me grinning)
*Guyspeak for I shall succeed some day...
Friend: How come you are not on the game tonite ?
Me: Hmmm...(with a mocking smile)
*Guythink for I shall just watch others crash and burn...
Friend: What ?!!!
Me:Nothing...
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