My Zumba Introduction and Key Characters in a Zumba Class

I kid you not. I hated dancing as a teenager growing up. For the most part and in most settings I would sit there with my arms folded and refuse to dance – like a stubborn donkey in a suit and tie. Then incredibly one day at a party thrown at my house by my brother, I saw his friend SHUFFLING. Think LMFAO -Party Rock Anthem -"Every day I'm shuffling".

Not how the Urban dictionary defines it -A recent alleged dance craze involving young people, especially young men. Most look like they are have an epileptic fit yet remaining standing.

Truth be told, I must have been watching this dude long enough for my brother to ask me whether I was going to "come out" and he would support me even though my dad or the Indian Government would probably have something to say about it. Sorry folks, the Indian Politicos are not able to come to terms of making the LGBT community legal in India yet.

And it was like waking a beast. Like in Godzilla when all those nuclear bombs wake him up from the bottom of the ocean. Suddenly I was out there jumping around to all these songs, laying down some raps with MC Hammer, and grinding it out to some…well, most of the songs other than that I hadn’t heard of before. Anyways since then, I was always heading for the dance floor. But that’s not just because the buffet was set up usually next to it. I really learnt dancing to look cool and score some brownie points with the fairer sex.

The years passed and my dancing improved. But if you got me with the right crowd and the right DJ, suddenly I would transform into a Indian Channing Tatum. Only without all the annoying abs and biceps and chiselled good looks slowing me down. There was no match for my moves. I slid to the right. I slide to the left. I criss-crossed and I was there when everybody clapped their hands. In reality my sister said that my dancing went from poor to average (I would give myself a 6/10 if I was on the Indian version of Come Dance With Me).

In addition to the dancing improving, so did my appetite. Increasingly I spent more time at the buffet table and the nightclub bar downing jager bombs than I spent dancing. Indeed my Brit friend's favourite joke would be to point to me (this Asian dude in a club) and scream -"He's got a bomb". Cue everyone either jumping under a table or saying their last prayers before he followed up with -"It's a jager bomb".

The pounds piled on and piled on till I came to a point where I needed to do something. And I did do something. Went on a exercise drive -tennis, squash, badminton, walking then running and strength training. No dieting folks, just sensible eating and I lost around 30 kilos i.e around 5 stone. And then gradually I realised that I needed to vary my fitness routines as I was getting bored.

And then I chanced upon Zumba !!! 

So Zumba is a dance fitness program created by Colombian dancer and choreographer Alberto "Beto" Perez during the 1990s. Zumba involves dance and aerobic elements. Zumba's choreography incorporates hip-hop, soca, samba, salsa, merengue and mambo.

I mean dancing and burning calories at the same time -seemed like a dream come true!!! 

Anyways i watched a lot of Zumba videos and this is my take on the various characters you will meet --

Miss Alpha Dog (Bitch) 

Definitely trying to make her own fitness video soon. Stares only at herself in the mirror.Throwing in steps even the instructor has never seen before. 

Miss Bumper

Never taken any dance classes before. Does not know how to stay on her own spot. Most likely you or her will be under the others armpits based on your height ratio. You could almost rename your routine with her as Dirty Dancing 

Miss Two Left Legs 

I think it’s mean to say that someone has absolutely no rhythm, so we’ll just say she’s dancing to another song... in her head... while making up her own dance moves... You get the point.You have to purposely avoid looking at her during Zumba class to keep from getting off beat too. 

Miss Energiser Bunny

She is the one who has made it her personal mission to keep the Zumba class hyped up and energetic.She is fun and outgoing with loud bursts of “Yeah,” “Uh huh,” “Get it, girl,” and “Owww” sounds throughout every routine. 

Miss Sexy 

She absolutely nails every hip roll, gyration, or booty shake. There’s a part of you that wants to remind her that this is not a pole dancing class.

Miss Moaner

Now, this could be Miss Sexy also, but it could also be the girl who’s a little out of shape and thought a Zumba class was not going to be a real workout. Five minutes into the class, she’s complaining about how hard it is .You feel her pain because you haven’t always been in such great shape.

Mr Only Guy in the Class (also known as The Zumba boyfriend)

You still haven’t figured out this guy’s deal. He’s the only guy in the Zumba class and he doesn’t actually know anyone there. He does most of the steps, except for the sexy ones. You wonder if he’s just a guy trying to get in shape or if he’s there to pick up girls. Only time will tell.

All in all , i should personally confess that i have not yet been to a actual Zumba Class yet as i do not want to be a creepy Zumba boyfriend. Until then ,YouTube and me can Zumba it out in my own haven .