How to kill and cook an elephant(with some references)
Why an elephant- you ask.Ever since a vague movie where I saw these pygmies eat an elephant ,I have been dying to try it out!!Anyway the best bet is to follow my instructions as below..
HUNTING
Firstly,we need to catch an elephant.Let me tell you -they may look fat and slow but these buggers can run.Elephant hunting is done mostly on foot by following promising fresh elephant shit until the animal is sighted. It is then determined if they would look appetizing on a plate. Usually this type of hunting involves hours of walking only to be disappointed by a small bodied old bull. In most cases, an Elephant hunt is a psychological battle of endurance, patience and persistence with many blisters, sunburn and exhaustion and the occasional moment of madness when you choose to shoot the pidgin swahili speaking guide.
The shooting part of the hunt is fairly quick, usually a brain shot is recommended at close quarters(around 6 feet) from a large bore calibre. When facing the Elephant a frontal brain shot is aimed at the third or fourth wrinkle below the centre of the eyes. With a side shot, aim for the area between the eye and the ear hole or directly in front of the earhole where the hairy knob juts out. A heart shot is a better bet when it is difficult to get in close to the elephant, placed lower down, directly behind the shoulder.There is no point approaching an elephant from behind unless you want to mount it(pun intended).Of course it sounds complicated,but practise makes perfect unless you unfortunately get battered into the earth before that.
COOKING
Although the flesh of the elephant is extremely coarse, the foot and trunk are excellent, if properly cooked. A hole should be dug in the earth. In this a large fire should be lighted, and kept burning for four or five hours with a continual supply of wood, so that the walls become red-hot. At the expiration of the blaze, the foot should be laid upon the glowing embers, and the hole covered closely with thick pieces of green wood laid parallel together to form a ceiling; this should be covered with wet grass, and the whole plastered with mud, and stamped tightly down to retain the heat. Upon the mud, a quantity of earth should be heaped, and the oven should not be opened for thirty hours, or more. At the expiration of that time, the foot will be perfectly baked, and the sole will separate like a shoe, and expose a delicate substance that, with a little oil and vinegar, together with an allowance of pepper and salt, is a delicious dish that will feed about fifty men.
I have frequently used the fat of the animal for cooking, but it should be taken from the body without delay; as, if left for a few hours, it partakes of the peculiar smell of the elephant which no amount of boiling can get rid off.
As for the body ,cut elephant into bite sized pieces; this takes about 2 months. Add enough Patak's brown gravy to cover. Cook over kerosene fire at 465 degrees. Serves 3800 persons. For those who dislike only plain elephant stew, a rabbit may be added -- but only if necessary because most people don't like hare in their stew.If many flies are present, the flesh should be protected by the smoke of fires lighted to windward.
So there you go-Happy Hunting....
HUNTING
Firstly,we need to catch an elephant.Let me tell you -they may look fat and slow but these buggers can run.Elephant hunting is done mostly on foot by following promising fresh elephant shit until the animal is sighted. It is then determined if they would look appetizing on a plate. Usually this type of hunting involves hours of walking only to be disappointed by a small bodied old bull. In most cases, an Elephant hunt is a psychological battle of endurance, patience and persistence with many blisters, sunburn and exhaustion and the occasional moment of madness when you choose to shoot the pidgin swahili speaking guide.
The shooting part of the hunt is fairly quick, usually a brain shot is recommended at close quarters(around 6 feet) from a large bore calibre. When facing the Elephant a frontal brain shot is aimed at the third or fourth wrinkle below the centre of the eyes. With a side shot, aim for the area between the eye and the ear hole or directly in front of the earhole where the hairy knob juts out. A heart shot is a better bet when it is difficult to get in close to the elephant, placed lower down, directly behind the shoulder.There is no point approaching an elephant from behind unless you want to mount it(pun intended).Of course it sounds complicated,but practise makes perfect unless you unfortunately get battered into the earth before that.
COOKING
Although the flesh of the elephant is extremely coarse, the foot and trunk are excellent, if properly cooked. A hole should be dug in the earth. In this a large fire should be lighted, and kept burning for four or five hours with a continual supply of wood, so that the walls become red-hot. At the expiration of the blaze, the foot should be laid upon the glowing embers, and the hole covered closely with thick pieces of green wood laid parallel together to form a ceiling; this should be covered with wet grass, and the whole plastered with mud, and stamped tightly down to retain the heat. Upon the mud, a quantity of earth should be heaped, and the oven should not be opened for thirty hours, or more. At the expiration of that time, the foot will be perfectly baked, and the sole will separate like a shoe, and expose a delicate substance that, with a little oil and vinegar, together with an allowance of pepper and salt, is a delicious dish that will feed about fifty men.
I have frequently used the fat of the animal for cooking, but it should be taken from the body without delay; as, if left for a few hours, it partakes of the peculiar smell of the elephant which no amount of boiling can get rid off.
As for the body ,cut elephant into bite sized pieces; this takes about 2 months. Add enough Patak's brown gravy to cover. Cook over kerosene fire at 465 degrees. Serves 3800 persons. For those who dislike only plain elephant stew, a rabbit may be added -- but only if necessary because most people don't like hare in their stew.If many flies are present, the flesh should be protected by the smoke of fires lighted to windward.
So there you go-Happy Hunting....
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