Cheeky Bugger--A Self Portrait

Some would call him a twat
Cos he was such a brat
You might call him a little fat
And he would go blue denying that

Enemy of all people prude
When was he ever not rude
And if he was in a wicked mood
I would say watch out dude

Watch out for his acid tongue
Feel you might a bee has stung
Or akin to a pile of dung
Falling down to the lowest rung

Him and his evil grin
Trust this boy to forever sin
If you really want him in the bin
Make a voodoo doll and stick the pin

But before you do what you like to do
Read below before you sew

If ever you need,a great friendship hug
He will make you feel as snug as a bug in a rug

If ever you need,to raise a smile
He will chase away all your blues for a while

If ever you need,someone around to play
He will pop around your way

Friendship,Love and all that blah blah stuff
For 100 pounds an hour ,he is reasonable enuff!!